


How the hell does this work?

by Oragami



Series: Unfinished RPs [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arthur is back, M/M, Once and Future King
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:54:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6938590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oragami/pseuds/Oragami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is back somehow, and he has no idea how things work in modern times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How the hell does this work?

You both like merthur.

**You:** Merlin, how do I work the TV? I swear, things weren't this complicated back in Camelot. -A

**Stranger:** You'll get the hang of it soon. Just use the green button to switch it on and then up and down arrow shaped buttons to change channel. -M

**You:** I should have seen that. Green button says on... -A

**Stranger:** It's alright, don't be too hard on yourself. -M

**You:** Everything was easier...then. Now, it takes almost an hour to figure out how to make something to eat. You're much better at this than me. -A

**Stranger:** It's not fair to compare yourself to me Arthur. I've had a lot of time to sort this stuff out. You're learning really quickly. -M

**You:** It doesn't seem like it. -A

**Stranger:** You've always been so hard on yourself. I promise, you're doing well. -M

**You:** I had to be hard on myself. I was king, and now...Im just someone who acts like they've been living in a cave their entire lives. -A

**Stranger:** You're still a King, Arthur. You always will be. -M

**You:** But not here. I've been reading Merlin, most people don't even believe I existed, the same thing with you. -A

**Stranger:** That doesn't change the truth. You know it and so do I. And most people from our time have been forgotten altogether. The fact that you're remembered even as a legend is nothing to take lightly. -M

**Stranger:** I'm going to be home soon, ok? Is there anything you want? -M

**You:** What's that place you got me something from once? The logo for it was yellow I think. -A

**Stranger:** You're going to need to be more specific than that. What did I get there? -M

**You:** I think you called it a Big Mac? Something big, I can't remember. -A

**Stranger:** Got it. McDonald's, for future reference. -M

**You:** I'll try to remember that. -A

**Stranger:** I'll stop on my way back. I should be there soon. -M

**You:** I'll be here. Obviously. -S

**You:** -A*

**Stranger:** I don't work tomorrow. We can go somewhere together. -M

**You:** That's good. Im going mad staying inside. -A

**Stranger:** I know, I'm sorry. -M

**You:** It's alright. At least there's more to occupy my time here than there was in Camelot. -A

**Stranger:** That's true. Lots of leisure. -M

**You:** I miss having a sword though. -A

**Stranger:** I imagine you do. We don't see many of those any more. -M

**You:** The ones Ive seen wouldn't do much of anything against real armor. -A

**Stranger:** But if you just want to get some exercise, I could take you to a gym. You might like that. -M

**You:** That might help some. -A

**Stranger:** We'll go there tomorrow. It seems like the sort of place you'd enjoy. Lots of strong tough men, and lots of fit women that aren't wearing much of anything. -M

**You:** Still unsettles me that women walk around wearing the clothing they do. But times change, like you said. -A

**Stranger:** They certainly do. All in all, for the better. -M

**You:** My father would most likely accuse them of being witches, and have them executed. I doubt he would last long now. -A

**You:** But I don't see any reason to restrict what they wear. Not that I have the right to anyway. -A

**Stranger:** You were always very progressive. -M

**Stranger:** Unfortunately there are a lot of men in the world like your father. Men that start out trying to do right and end up causing a lot of damage. There always are. -M

**You:** I think they're what you would call a dollop-head. -A

**Stranger:** I haven't said that in a while. -M

**You:** Kind of hard to forget. -A

**Stranger:** I suppose so. -M

**You:** What were the other names you called me again? -A

**Stranger:** Clotpole. -M

**Stranger:** To be fair you were always calling me names too. -M

**You:** True, so I suppose it was fair you called me some back. -A

**You:** You were always the only one I allowed to do that. -A

**Stranger:** I know. -M

**You:** Gwaine tried, but only once. Im sure that he realized that it wasn't a good idea after I glued him into his armor. -A

**Stranger:** I remember that! It ended up pulling all the hairs off his arms. -M

**You:** Took him a while to figure out it was me that did it -A

**Stranger:** I think that must have been a bit of me rubbing off on you. -M

**You:** Quite possibly. -A

**Stranger:** Old you would have just put him in the stocks or something. -M

**You:** I liked to mix things up sometimes. -A

**Stranger:** You know, that was much more uncomfortable than it looked. And some people through rocks! -M

**You:** Those people were idiots. I think that if they were the ones in them, they'd be thinking differently. -A

**Stranger:** That's always the way. -M

**Stranger:** I was very pleased when they finally stopped using those. -M

**You:** Tomatos can't be very fun either. -A

**Stranger:** Better than potatoes. But no, not pleasant. -M

**You:** At least you don't have to worry about that anymore. -A

**Stranger:** Not for a while. I did get to give them another go in the 1730s. They were vicious. They threw shit at me! Actual shit. -M

**You:** What happened then? I don't think you've ever told me. -A

**Stranger:** Oh, that doesn't matter. It's not all that interesting. -M

**You:** At this rate, I would find that watching the grass grow would me interesting. -A

**Stranger:** I'm on my way home now. I'll pick up your food and see you soon. -M

**You:** Be safe. -A

**Stranger:** I will. -M

**You:** And try not to use any of that colorful language at the other drivers. I don't like the looks they gave you sometimes. -A

**Stranger:** Don't worry, I can handle them. -M

**You:** I know, but still. -A

**Stranger:** I'll be careful. -M

**You:** That's good. Well, obviously it is. -A

**Stranger:** Merlin arrived home about half an hour later with a bag of groceries and a couple of bags of fast food. He was balancing these in his arms and holding two cones of soft serve, one which he was eating, the other one still looked as if it knew better than to start to melt before he handed it off to Arthur.  
Merlin took a lick of his own icecream and nudged the door shut with his foot. "I'm back!" He yelled into his little flat.   
Before Arthur appeared, his little cat ran in and rubbed at his legs, and nearly causing him to trip and spill the bags.

**You:** Arthur looked up from the magazine he was reading- something about science that he didn't understand at all- when he heard the front door open, Gaius the cat (Merlin had suggested it, and Arthur hadn't objected, he thought it was a way to remember him) jumping off his perch on the arm of the couch.   
  
"I figured that. I don't think anyone else has a key to the front door, and anyone breaking in would use a key." Arthur said, smirking a bit as he took some of the grocery bag from Merlin. "Unless times have really changed now?"

**Stranger:** "Don't be smart, it doesn't suit you." Merlin scolded. "Here, eat this. Not too quickly, it's cold, you'll get a headache." he instructed, handing Arthur his icecream to free up a hand. he crouched down to scratch the cat's head for a moment before getting up to put away the groceries.

**You:** Arthur glared at Merlin for a second before smiling and taking the ice cream. "I think I can manage. First time I tried it, I think I had a headache for an entire day."

**Stranger:** "More like five minutes." he mumbled around the last of his. He put away his shopping and with an absent minded flick of his wrist he sent his shopping bags back to the hook by the door. "Did you remember to refill the cat's water dish?" he asked, looking up at Arthur again.

**You:** "It felt like an entire day." Arthur pointed out, setting down the bags he'd taken from Merlin on the counter. "And of course I did, do you see him sleeping in it like he was last time?"

**Stranger:** Merlin smiled. "No, I missed that. I'll have to show you how to send pictures in text messages." he said with a smile. "Do you want to eat now or wait?"

**You:** Arthur walked over to the fast food bags- McDonalds he reminded himself- and smelled them. "I wasn't too hungry before you came in, but now Im starving."

**Stranger:** "Food smells will do that." He said with amusement, fishing out his food so that Arthur didn't end up gobbling it up before he got a chance at it.  
"Tea?" he asked, glancing back at the electric kettle and watching as it switched itself on.

**You:** Arthur picked up the bag with what food was left in it, guessing it was his since Merlin had picked some of it out. "Not for me, but if you're asking me if I'll make it for you, I suppose I could do it."

**Stranger:** "I've got it." he assured him, going to get himself a mug and a teabag.

**You:** "Works for me I guess." Arthur took his hamburger out of the bag and opened the wrapper, taking a bite as he leaned against the counter. "I don't think I could ever get tired of eating these."

**Stranger:** Merlin laughed. "A little different than what we grew up on, huh?" he chuckled. Not they grew up on particularly similar diets.  
"But if you want to keep up eating junk like this, we definitely will have to get you set up at the gym so you don't get too chubby," he teased with a smile as he made his tea. "I think you'll like it. You can at least feel like you're not being idle all day. Once you get the hang of it you can go on your own. It's not too far.

**You:** Arthur tossed a fry at Merlin. "Like that time you only gave me a roll and a little piece of meat for my breakfast, saying I needed to watch my weight." Arthur nodded. "But I understand where you are coming from. This sort of food seems more fattening."

**Stranger:** "Well we didn't exactly eat healthy then either, but we were getting more exercise too." He said with a shrug as he sipped his milky tea with a sigh, taking it to the sitting room with his food, eager to relax and eat.

**You:** Arthur grabbed the bag with his food and followed after Merlin, sitting in his favorite chair. "Much more variety too. No meat like this, or milkshakes I think they are?"

**Stranger:** "Mmm I love those. An excellent idea." he said with a smile of approval as he ate a couple of fries.

**You:** "Another thing I can't get more of. But like the ice cream, headaches."

**Stranger:** "We'll get you another one sometime. We're eating some decent food tomorrow, though. I want you to try some curry." He said with a smile.

**You:** Arthur looked at Merlin with a questioning look on his face. "I don't think that's something Ive heard of. Granted, there are lots of things I haven't heard of."

**Stranger:** "You haven't heard of it, it's a bit different, but it's probably my favorite kind of food. I'd be happy to eat it every day." He said with a smile as the cat jumped up on the sofa beside him and he pet him absently.

**You:** "I think my absolute favorite food Ive ever had was that crunchy taco thing." Arthur said, taking another bite of his burger. "Especially with that cheese."

**Stranger:** "Well we'll see how you like curry. It might take some getting used to, but you've been very flexible so far, so I have hope." he said with a smile.  
Even with all of the difficulties, it was so wonderful to have Arthur with him. It felt so good to have someone to really talk to. It had been hundreds of years since he'd gotten close enough to someone to tell them his story honestly, and though he didn't regret what had happened between them, he'd been arrested for homosexuallity and ended up in the stocks and then jail. Certainly not a story he was eager to share with Arthur. It was a subject he hadn't had the courage to broach with him and that didn't seem like a good place to start with it.

**You:** Arthur snorted. "I don't think my muscles would let me be too flexible, but I know what you mean by flexible." He shifted in his chair, crossing his legs. "But with as long as you have been around, I bet you're flexible."

**Stranger:** "Can't really help it." He said with a shrug, taking a bite of his food. After a few centuries he was more or less used to his existence and he learned to appreciate the front row seat he was given to humanity's triumphs and shames.

**You:** "Another thing I need to try and get used to is figure out what people are meaning when it's not too obvious." Arthur leaned back.

**Stranger:** "Well tomorrow we'll go out and you'll get a bit more practice. Last time didn't go too badly, he pointed out.

**You:** "Better than last time." Arthur said. Last time he'd nearly broken his nose tripping over his own two feet. "I have to do something, even if it is a bit of exercise."

**Stranger:** "We'll go to the gym and get a nice lunch. Maybe take a walk or something, he said with a shrug as he finished up his food. He was tired and he found himself wishing Arthur wasn't sitting so far away, but really it was for the best, as adaptable as Arthur was he might not be too happy about the sort of casual affection that he was fond of, especially when he was tired.

**You:** "Workout then exercise seems like a good idea. If I eat before, I won't be as good because I'll be full from eating, and if the workout comes first, I'll be hungry and we'll still be getting something to eat."

**Stranger:** Merlin hummed his agreement and sipped at his tea. "I haven't been for a while, it'll be nice."

**You:** "You've always been the smarter one between the two of us." Arthur said, sticking the empty sandwich wrapper in his bag. "I would have died several times over without you."

**Stranger:** "Hundreds of times." Merlin assured him with a smile. "I saved you from some assassination plot almost daily for a while."

**You:** "The bells that went off when something was going on did seem to go off quite frequently..." Arthur said. "But I think I saved your life at least once."

**Stranger:** "Maybe once or twice." he said with a fond smile as he relaxed against the sofa and pulled the cat into his lap for a cuddle.

**You:** Arthur plucked a few fries out of the bag, sighing when he was done eating them. "There is one thing that I did want to mention, but back in Camelot it wouldn't have been such a good idea."

**Stranger:** Merlin turned lazily back to him. "Yeah? What's that?" he asked with a yawn.

**You:** "Well..." Arthur took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Even though it did seem like I...didn't like you at times, or even hated you, I never did. I couldn't act the way I would have liked..."

**Stranger:** Merlin smiled slightly and gave a little shrug. "Oh I know. You were a prince. A king. I even remember you telling me once that we might have been friends, otherwise. It's alright, I don't hold it against you."

**You:** Arthur shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I married Gwen, and I loved her, but not the way she deserved. There was someone else that I would have rather been with, but at the time it wasn't a good idea."

**Stranger:** This really caught Merlin's attention and he frowned a little. "Been with romantically?" He asked softly as he shifted to sit up a bit, his heart pounding a little.

**You:** Arthur nodded. "With Gwen there could have been an heir to the throne, and that couldn't have happened with the other."

**Stranger:** "I see....or I think I might." He said softly, though he didn't want to put words in his mouth.

**You:** "I think you do see." Arthur scooted closer towards Merlin was sitting. "You're the smart one."

**Stranger:** Merlin smiled and a blush colored his pale cheeks. "It wasn't the sort of thing you talked about then, was it?" He sighed. At least that had begun to change lately. It was no longer a felony at least.

**You:** Arthur nodded in agreement. "Banished from Camelot at the least, or locked in the jail. I don't like thinking about the other options."

**Stranger:** Merlin nodded "Remember what I said about the stocks earlier? Getting shit thrown at me?"

**You:** Arthur thought for a moment. "Of course, and I said they were idiots I think?"


End file.
